When I started this blog on my life with Totes, he was about a year and a half old and I finally felt I had my parenting "groove" down. What a fun age! I loved taking him everywhere and he was always up for getting out of the house. We were down to one nap a day so his schedule was really easy to work around. He was finally walking so I didn't have to worry about constantly holding him or having him crawl on public floors or him putting EVERYTHING in his mouth. I could let him explore on his own with me at a safe distance and snap away with my camera. I LOVE photographing my kids. They are the reason I wanted to learn to use a DSLR and it's the creative outlet I choose to indulge in most and want to continue growing my knowledge in. I also felt, at his age then, that I had time to take photos, edit and upload, write a blog post and bam, be a 'blogger'! The balance was good, his independence forming and he didn't 'need' me like he did in those early months/first year.
Then I became pregnant for the second time.
Oh man, I was so sick at first. Then I was so EXHAUSTED and that never went away during the whole nine months. I was so thrilled to be pregnant again, but all I wanted to do was sleep and I could not muster up any energy to take photos or write anything down. It bummed me out big time but it was nothing I could overcome. I had no motivation other than to lay down and eat everything in sight.
I didn't want to give up on this little site that I have created. I still don't. But I'm just trying to recognize that there will be a time to devote to this again rather than feeling like I should just give up now. My little apple, Melina, is now six months old. She can now sit up on her own really well and is close to crawling. I just now am seeing a glimmer of that time up ahead that I will be able to get back into photography and creating again and have some "me" time. Kids teach you patience in so many ways. So for now, I'm trying to slow down and know that there's always tomorrow to take a little time out for myself. And sleep.